Fear of penetration

Penetration Fear

Paganism is an involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles which may extend to the powerful muscles of the thighs. It can be a very distressing condition for the woman and her part­ner alike as the woman who suffers from it will be unable to have sexual intercourse because the penis is prevented from entering her vagina.

In addition she may not be able to use internal sanitary tampons or allow a doctor to examine her internally. In severe cases, this condition may eve: prevent an examination of the external genital’

Why does it happen?

The cause of paganism is almost always psycho ~~ logical. It is the result of an unconscious fear of ~ ~­penetration of the vagina. Experts are unveil' ­about what causes this fear and it is probable that the reason differs from woman to woman.

Painful memories of sexual intercourse -either after childbirth or gynecological operations, or when duress or intimidation was involved - may cause a woman to subconsciously dread the sex act. A woman with a strict religious or parental upbringing, who has been taught that sex is `dirty', may also subconsciously resist making love as she has a deep-seated belief that sex is offensive. She may even have unrecognized lesbian tendencies, experiencing arousal but sub-consciously resisting penetration by a man.

Other causes of paganism concern a general ignorance and misinformation about the sex organs. A woman may say, `I am too narrow down there' or `There is an obstruction.' These state­ments are a way of rationalizing the real anxiety, which is (according to some experts) that the penis will tear and lacerate her or (according to others) that the vagina will harm the penis in some way.

Surprisingly, when a woman suffers from paganism, she and her partner may live or sleep

Together for many years without having full sexual intercourse. The woman's fear is only of penetration, so she will usually enjoy love play and be able to experience orgasm through manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris. Both partners may come to accept the problem and be happy to express their sexuality through mutual masturba­tion, particularly if the husband tends to be passive. However, the desire to have a child and the realization that they are missing out on the satisfaction, intimacy and fulfillment of the com­plete sex act may lead them to seek professional help to consummate their marriage.

Professional treatment of paganism is usually successful and can be completed within a short time. The therapist will first get the woman to talk about her anxieties and explain why she finds the idea of anything penetrating her vagina so frightening.

The therapist will reassure her and support her and may show her diagrams of her sexual organs, so that she is aware of the nature and structure of her vagina. They will discuss fully any sexual fears or fantasies she might have and she may be asked to imagine penetration but with no likelihood of it actually happening. Her partner may or may not be present at this session. In any case, the woman is allowed time to relax before any physical therapy takes place.

The physical therapy consists of getting the woman used to vaginal penetration. The ways for doing this vary from therapist to therapist and from case to case. Some therapists prefer the woman to use her own fingers and later her partner's to penetrate the vagina as they find couples respond to this. Other therapists may use glass dilators - glass `tubes' of increasing size - or tampons.

Initially, a woman may be asked to simply place her fingertip at the entrance of her vagina, either at home or at the clinic, and discuss the feelings she experiences. If she is shy about disrobing at the clinic, she can take off her panties but keep her skirt on or drape a towel over herself. This pro­gresses to inserting one and then two fingers com­pletely into the vagina. At this stage, women are often surprised at the size of the vagina.

In the early stages of the therapy, a woman may also be asked to examine her vagina with a mirror, while she explores this part of her body with her fingers; she may be asked to massage the vaginal area with hormone cream three times daily, which will produce pleasurable feelings.

When a glass dilator is used, it is well lubricated and warmed and when it is inserted, the therapist constantly reassures the woman. Throughout her treatment - whether it is done at home or at the clinic, with her fingers or a glass dilator - the woman is constantly asked to explain how it feels and reassured that although she may feel some tightness and anxiety at first, this will decrease and the experience will not be physically painful.

Involving the partner

At some stage, depending on the therapist and
the woman, the woman's partner will take part in
- the physical therapy. By this time he will probably
have already talked to the therapist alone, about
his own sexual feelings, fears and fantasies. He
may also be shown diagrams of the female
anatomy, as he may not know very much about it.
It is important that the woman's partner be in­
evolved in the treatment since there is a danger that

he may feel the therapist has succeeded where has failed. This may make him feel inadequate as a `sexual male', leading to further problems.

The man will be asked to insert first one,

Two fingers into the woman's vagina, without moving them about inside. This may either be done at home or at the clinic - and he too maybe surprised at how large the vagina is. If the woman has been using her own fingers to penetrate her vagina, she may be more anxious about someone else penetrating her, so this stage may be more difficult, but the couple will be reassured that they need not hurry.

The couple is asked to practice the finger penetration at home, initially without moving the fingers in the vagina and then slowly moving them in and out - without sexual intercourse taking place. It is important not to rush this stage because the woman may `seize up' again. If her partner finds he is becoming excited during these exercises he is asked to reach orgasm by oral or manual stimulation - he can either masturbate or the woman can bring him to a climax.

After about two weeks, the couple will be asked to revisit the therapist and if two-finger per traction can be managed without the wow feeling anxious, modified sexual intercourse take place.

When the couple returns home, the man will asked to insert his penis into the woman's vague being guided by her hand. He will be asked not to thrust to orgasm but simply to keep the penis still in the vagina and let the woman experience how it feels. If he finds he is approaching orgasm, he will be asked to withdraw his penis, ejaculate, watt until he has another erection and then reinsert penis, quietly leaving it in the vagina for a f minutes again, and then withdrawing. If the want to, the couple can indulge in other forms love play at this time.

Once the woman can accept the penis in vagina she usually becomes quickly aroused wishes to have full sexual intercourse. When she ready, she will ask her partner to thrust to organ Very often, a woman who has experience paganism is very responsive to clitoral stem ton and usually remains so after treatment. S may find that she very quickly becomes response to vaginal stimulation as well, and experience orgasm from penetration.

The treatment of paganism is almost always successful if the couple completes the whole coup of therapy - even if they have put off consult ding the doctor for many years.

Very occasionally, successful treatment reveals other sexual problems - for example, the man may have been impotent all along but this was hidden because the woman suffered from paganism. In this case, the couple would be advised to get further therapy.

Who to ask for help?

As soon as a couple suspects that the woman has paganism, they should consult their doctor.

If the woman's anxiety has not been strengthened by failure, pain and prolonged avoidance of full sexual intercourse, the doctor himself maybe able to cure the problem by simply explaining the condition being sympathetic and understanding, and giving a gentle and unhurried vaginal examination. If this is not the case, he will refer the couple to a clinic specializing in treating sexual problems - a psycho sexual clinic. Many hospitals have such a clinic and family planning clinics may also have therapists who can help the couple with their problem.

When a woman suspects she has paganism, she and her partner should not be frightened to seek help. Resolving the problem can bring about a fuller and more satisfying relationship.