Physical problems
If a woman finds her first sexual experience painful it may be because her hymen (a thin fold of skin near the entrance to the vagina) is inelastic, although it may have been stretched by using tampons.
A tight hymen may create a tender area at the vaginal opening which makes it difficult for the penis to enter comfortably. It seldom offers resistance to firm but gentle stretching, and surgery is rarely needed to break it. There may be a little bleeding from the entry of the penis, although a woman who has been' adequately aroused and lubricated has very little trouble.
Later, when a woman has a baby - usually her first - it may be necessary for her to have an episiotomy (an incision made in the area between the vagina and anus - the perineum - to help deliver the baby). When this cut is stitched up there may be a small scar in the vaginal wall which can remain tender for a variable period following the episiotomy. Provided lovemaking is gentle, the woman relaxed and lubrication sufficient, intercourse need not be avoided.
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| Pain less Sex |
Dryness and irritation
Sometimes a woman may have soreness during intercourse simply as a result of the friction caused when her partner inserts his penis into her vagina before it has been adequately lubricated. The solution may be just to extend foreplay (see page 144) so that the vagina is fully lubricated, or if this doesn't help, lubricate the vagina with water based jelly or with saliva.
Sometimes the stinging or burning which a woman feels around the vaginal opening can be traced to some form of tissue irritant - an allergy or irritating substance. These include scented soaps and vaginal deodorants. For other irritants it is best to consult a doctor since the treatment may consist of a course of antibiotics, peccaries or cream.
The pelvis
Many women experience pain in their pelvic area - from the waist to the crotch - when they have sex. If a man is a bit too enthusiastic and thrusts so hard that the penis hits the cervix or a low-lying ovary a woman might experience discomfort. Changing the lovemaking position can help. However, the discomfort can also be due to psychological causes.
Pelvic pain can also come from infections in the uterus (womb) or fallopian tubes. If you think this may be the case, see your doctor as soon as you can.
Although pain during intercourse does not necessarily interfere with a woman's ability to have an orgasm, it all depends on where the pain is located, its intensity and how sexually aroused the woman is.
Infections of the female sex organs
There are a number of vaginal infections which cause discomfort. Some infections give pain generally, others during sexual intercourse. Two of the most common thrush and trichomonas - only need simple medical treatment.
Thrush
Thrush is a condition caused by the fungus Candida alb cans. It can be acquired in many ways, simply because this fungus is present in everybody orifice. If the vaginal environment is not conducive to growth, then the fungus lies dormant. However, when conditions are right, thrush symptoms appear. Diabetes, pregnancy, the Pill, or certain antibiotics will all make the vagina more alkaline and amenable to thrush.
Itching and soreness are the usual symptoms and a white, thick, yeast-like discharge may occur. Intercourse will aggravate the condition but treatment is usually quick and simple. When you visit your doctor it is a good idea to take along your partner so he can be checked to see if he has the infection if he has not been circumcised.
Thrush sufferers should avoid nylon underwear, tight jeans and tights since they create a warm environment for the fungus to grow.
It also helps if you shower instead of bathe and blot your genital area dry with a clean towel or tissue to prevent the condition from spreading on to the perineum. One final point: it has been suggested that thrush sufferers should avoid washing the infected area too much because it destroys Trichomonas
After thrush, Trichomonas virginals, or TV as it is usually known, is the most common cause of vaginal infection. No one knows how it is transmitted, but it is caused by a micro-organism; one out off give women have it without knowing because they have no symptoms. One of the common symptoms is a green or yellow foul-smelling discharge. The opening of the vagina may also be bright red, itchy and sore and there may also be raised spots on the vaginal wall and the cervix. Intercourse may be impossible because the vagina is so sore and painful, but if intercourse is attempted the condition can worsen. As with thrush, it is a good idea for your partner to go with you to the doctor since he may have the TV organism and not know it, and unless he gets treatment he can reinvests you and thus continue the cycle.
Bladder infections
Cystitis or `honeymoon disease' is actually an inflammation of the bladder and urinary tract which can have a variety of causes. Although any woman is vulnerable to cystitis, the bride who is
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Still a virgin and whose hymen is still intact seem to get it more often.
Cystitis is usually caused by a common bowel germ and some women find that the condition recurs every time they attempt intercourse. Perhaps the most obvious symptom a woman has is the constant desire to urinate - and when she does, it is very painful. There are a couple of things you can do to avoid cystitis: make sure the bladder is empty both before and after intercourse, and if you are susceptible to the condition, drink two to four glasses of water after intercourse.
So common is cystitis today that people are setting up special clubs and organizations to help sufferers. These clubs teach the prevention and management of cystitis and give invaluable help to many people with this problem.
Psychological causes
Research has shown that there is only one psychological reason for painful sex in women - paganism, which is the involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles. It may be brought about by a subconscious fear of penetration by the penis often originating in childhood.
Paganism’s requires highly skilled psychological treatment and the time necessary to help the woman overcome her fears varies depending upon the individual. But one widely used method teaches the woman to insert first one, then two fingers into her vagina without having a spasm. Her partner may take part in this therapy and, as she gains confidence and overcomes her fear, intercourse can take place.
Sexually transmitted diseases
Commonly known as venereal disease or VD, these attack the sex organs and can ordinarily be contracted only by having sexual intercourse with an infected person. If you think you have VD, or are in any doubt, you should have a check-up with your doctor or a special clinic. The most common conditions are gonorrhea ('clap'), syphilis ('the pox') and non-specific arthritis (NSU).
Gonorrhea
Left untreated, gonorrhea can make intercourse painful because it leaves scars on the urethra (the canal through which urine or waste from the bladder passes out of the body). In men, the gonococcus organism usually settles in the urethra and, in women, it settles in the vagina. Occasionally the disease can be transmitted to a fetus by an infected parent or can cause infertility.
Within two to seven days after having intercourse with an infected partner, mammary notice a creamy, greenish-yellow discharge from the penis and he may also have a burning sensation when he urinates. A woman may have the same kind of discharge from her vagina, the outer and inner lips of the vulva may be red and sore and she may have pain and a burning sensation.
Gonorrhea can be easily treated with penicillin or antibiotics and it is important to get medical help as soon as you suspect you have the disease so that the condition will not get any worse.
Syphilis
This is a more serious disease than gonorrhea because in its final stage it can cause mental illness and ultimately death if not treated promptly. Syphilis is nearly always transmitted by intercourse although it can be passed from an infected mother to the fetus.
Syphilis has three stages. In primary syphilis, a hard sore or chancre develops - usually within
three weeks - at the place where the infection entered. In the man, the penis is the point of entry and in the woman, it is the outer or inner sex lips (labia) or inside the vagina. If the disease is diagnosed and treated within three weeks it can be easily cured. If left untreated, the sore disappears and although the infected person may think he is cured, he isn't. The germs enter the bloodstream and the disease enters its second stage.
The first sign a man may have of secondary syphilis is a general rash over the body which is usually accompanied by small, infectious mouth ulcers. A cure is still quite simple, but again, if it is left untreated, the third stage sets in, known as latent syphilis. This may last many years and although there are cases when the infected person feels quite well for long periods this is when mental illness, blindness or deafness may occur even though 10 years may have elapsed since the person was first infected with the disease.
Male problems
Men are much less likely to find intercourse painful than women, but when they do, the reasons are extremely easy to pinpoint.
In its flaccid state, the sides of the penis are covered by a loose fold of skin which at the tip is called the foreskin. Normally during an erection it retracts to expose the tip of the penis. If the foreskin is too tight it can't retract and the result is like trying to force a sausage into a skin which is too small for it - and is very painful. The solution for this is circumcision, the surgical removal of the foreskin. All Jewish and Moslem men are circumcised as infants and many baby boys are circumcised to prevent problems later on. The operation is straightforward and, contrary to some myths, will not leave a scar or affect sexual performance.
Non-specific arthritis (NSU)
Little is known about this disease which is the most common type of sexually transmitted disease. It may cause a burning sensation when a man passes urine, and he may have a fever and pain just above the groin. NSU can be treated quite easily with
Antibiotics and although opinions differ as to what causes it, most researchers agree that men get NSU and women carry it.
Whatever the reason for painful intercourse, it is unnecessary. Today modern medicine can clear the condition quickly, so if you have a problem - get some advice.
